How To Get Over Someone
When we lose someone, it can feel like we lost a part of ourselves. Heartache can be one of the most psychologically painful and confusing experiences in our lives. And for the less emotionally stable among us, that pain can channel its way into feelings of low self worth, depression, anxiety, or anger. So how do we get over someone in a healthy way?
Patience is key. It’s important to remember that getting over someone isn’t something that will happen instantly overnight. Like with any healing wound, time heals all — and any distractions are only bandaids that act as temporary fixes. Feel your feelings and be honest with yourself. Pretending that you’re alright when you’re not by suppressing your emotions isn’t going to help you heal. Know that feeling depressed or anxious in situations like this is completely valid. Splitting from someone who you’ve become attached to is like tearing flesh- it’s bound to creating some scaring.
I used to make my relationships my entire world. So when my relationships weren’t good, my world wasn’t good. I realized that I was dependent on my relationships to fill my world, to make me happy. And that’s why it was so hard walking away from connections that overstayed their time. But when I built a solid relationship with myself, alignment was at the forefront of my decisions. Relationships became only a part of my world. So when the relationship was no longer in alignment, I knew what needed to be done. And when it was time to part-ways my whole world wasn’t rocked. And I allowed the love I have for myself to fill up the void these connections left behind until more aligned connections made their way into my life.
Let it out and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Often times, friends are the best support systems for breakups, as they know you best and have probably been through similar things. It can even help to journal your thoughts to work through your feelings. If you feel that you need additional support, therapists can be a great help for navigating through these times. Out of sight, out of mind. It doesn’t do you any good to keep your ex on your social media, as seeing them over and over will likely cause you further pain and sadness. There is a certain level of peace in not knowing what they’re up to, so block away!
Step outside of the relationship and focus on yourself. Though it can be tough, you have to stop reminiscing on all the good times and ignoring the bad. Remember, there’s usually a reason that the two of you didn’t work out. Instead of focusing on what you possibly did wrong, shift that focus towards what you can do now to make yourself feel better. From there, reclaim your identity and start looking forward. Rediscover what you want, figure out your passions, volunteer for initiatives you didn’t have time for before, take a trip to a beautiful resort, and direct your attention to the wonderful relationships you already have in your life — not the one’s that are gone. Let go of any blame that may have built up from this experience, and free yourself from the shackles of an expired relationship.
