The biggest life lesson I’ve learnt is that to be healed doesn’t mean everything will feel suddenly perfect forever. It’s a misconception I used to punish myself over.
Why am I feeling like this again when I was doing so great? Instead, to be healed means you have better coping mechanisms to deal with the tougher emotions when they flood in again, you have more compassion for yourself, you understand your triggers, you set stronger boundaries, you create standards you deserve, you understand not everyone will understand — and you ultimately learn to put your mental health above everything else. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’ve found yourself back at square one.
Life has many different chapters, don’t let one bad chapter end the book.
I think there’s s a point in your healing journey where you stop trying to convince other people to do the right thing, you just observe their choices, understand their character, and decide what you’re going to allow in your life. Healthy boundaries start with self-awareness. We have to know who we are, what we feel and need, and what we do or don’t have energy for. Then we can identify and communicate our limits.
Lately, I have been craving more moments that are soft. Moments that aren’t harsh on my body or soul. Moments that are gentle. Moments where I can exhale just as deeply as I’m able to breathe. Moments that meet me with or care. Moments easy like Sunday morning. More of those.
Bad things happen to everyone. Not that this was an excuse or a justification for wronging another human being. Still, all humans had this shared experience that of suffering. No human being left this world without shedding a tear, or feeling pain, or wading into the sea of sorrow. Give yourself grace, you are a part of all that is happening around you, not simply an observer — it is not your job to make sense to anyone, or make sense of anything. Just listen to how it makes you feel and respond accordingly. How we respond is our power.
At the end of the day what the matters most is how we make other people feel, how we impact them, how we make their life a little bit brighter every moment we have with them. Money matters, but not the most. Pleasure matters, but not the most. Connection matters. Memories matter. Laughter matters. You matter.